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School: A place where Papa pays
and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that
keeps you poor all your life so
that you can die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up
to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It's an agreement in
which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of
Marriage.
Tears: The hydraulic force by
which masculine willpower is
defeated by
feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring
information from the notes of
the
Lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through
"the minds of
either"
Conference: The confusion of one
man multiplied by the number
present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a
cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary : A place where
success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where
everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by
nature.
Cr iminal: A guy no different from
the rest....except that he got
caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when
you are late and late when you are
early.
Politician : One who shakes your
hand before elections and your
Confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your
ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people
praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot
of things straight.
Office: A place where you can
relax after your strenuous home
life.
Yawn: The only time some
married men ever get to open
their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others
believe that you know more than
you actually do.
Committee : Individuals who can
do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done
together.
Experience: The name men give
to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end
all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments
himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead .
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