Touchy Ego
Only the ego can be touched. It is very touchy. If somebody just looks
at you in a certain way, it is touched. He has not done anything. If
somebody smiles a little, it is touched; if somebody just turns his
head and does not look at you, it is touched. It is very touchy. It is
like a wound, always open, green. You touch it and the pain arises. A
single word, a single gesture -- the other may not even be aware of
what he has done to you, but he has touched it.
And you always think the other is responsible, that he has wounded
you. No, you carry your wound. With the ego your whole being is a
wound. And you carry it around. Nobody is interested in hurting you,
nobody is positively waiting to hurt you; everybody is engaged in
safeguarding his own wound. Who has got the energy? But still it
happens, because you are so ready to be wounded, so ready, just
waiting on the brink for anything.
You cannot touch a man of Tao. Why? -- because there is no one to be
touched. There is no wound. He is healthy, healed, whole. This word
'whole' is beautiful. The word 'heal' comes from 'whole', and the word
'holy' also comes from 'whole'. He is whole, healed, holy.
Be aware of your wound. Don't help it to grow, let it be healed; and
it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head,
the more the wound will heal -- with no head there is no wound. Live a
headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things.
Just for twenty-four hours, try it - total acceptance, whatsoever
happens. Someone insults you, accept it, don't react, and see what
happens. Suddenly you will feel an energy flowing in you that you have
not felt before. Somebody insults you: you feel weak, you feel
disturbed, you start thinking of how to get your revenge. That man has
hooked you, and now you will move round and round. For days, nights,
months, even years, you will not be able to sleep, you will have bad
dreams. People can waste their whole life over a small thing, just
because someone insulted them.
Just look back into your past and you will remember a few things. You
were a small child and the teacher in the class called you an idiot,
and you still remember it and you feel resentment. Your father said
something. Your parents have forgotten, and even if you remind them,
they will not be able to remember it. Your mother looked at you in a
certain way and since then the wound has been there. And it is still
open, fresh; if anybody touches it, you will explode.
Don't help this wound to grow. Don't make this wound your soul. Go to
the roots, be with the whole. For twenty-four hours, just twenty-four
hours, try not to react, not to reject, whatsoever happens.
If someone pushes you and you fall to the ground -- fall! Then get up
and go home. Don't do anything about it. If somebody hits you, bow
down your head, accept it with gratitude. Go home, don't do anything,
just for twenty-four hours. And you will know a new psurge
of energy that you have never known before, a new vitality arising
from the roots. And once you know it, once you have tasted it, your
life will be different. Then you will laugh at all the foolish things
you have been doing, at all the resentments, reactions, revenges, with
which you have been destroying yourself.
BigGains !!
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